Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Ah Bliss

Oh yeah...my dealer just dropped off a 80mg oxy to me. Oh total bliss. I crushed up part of it and as fast as I could, got it into me. Didn't want to draw much attention to myself by being away from my desk for too long so I didn't prep it quite as well as I usually do and at first I had a hard time getting it into my vein. Had to abort the first attempt and try the other arm so I know that I didn't get as good a hit as I could have gotten. Man, I hate being rushed but what else was I to do? I normally like to have my day's supply already prepped so that a trip to the bathroom does not turn into an unusually long visit but this week the combination of lack of funds and lack of drugs has really put a damper in my normal modus operandis. Everything just sucks big right now. I hope my dealer has another pill on her cause I sure would like to take one home to my boyfriend. Wish there was a way that I could get some more speed but fat chance of that happening. Think that I would just be pushing my luck at that point so guess that I will be grateful for the little that I did manage to get my hands on!!!! Only 17 minutes to go before work ends. Yeah. Oh, I am also going to go down to the Methadone Clinic on Thursday while on my dinner break and start the process to get myself back on the program. Guess the wait is a lot less than it was when I first started six and a half years ago. Can't believe that I was five years clean when I started back down this stupid stupid path...

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