Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Victim of Crime

I can't believe that this actually happened but last Friday night I had my purse stolen. What a bloody pain in the ass that this has turned out to be let me tell you. So far, I've managed to get a new bank card from my bank and even getting this done, proved to be near impossible. Seems that you need identification to get identification. Go figure!

It was partly my neglect that caused this to happen which of course, just ends up making me angrier. After work, Jim and I had gone over to the mall by our place to do a little bit of shopping. I wanted to get a new shower curtain and Jim wanted a new shower head. We ended up taking longer than I had wanted to and as the mall was extremely warm, I started to get a headache. Jim still wanted to grab a milkshake but by this time, I just wanted to go home so I headed off without him.

When I got back to our apartment, I realized that I hadn't brought my keys with me so I was locked out of our unit. I did have two sets of keys from the empty units that I had been working in earlier in the day. I left a note on our door stating as I had forgotten my keys that when he got home, he could find me upstairs. No big deal really. Jim ended up getting back about twenty minutes after me.

He came upstairs and we ended up chilling up there for a bit as we had our portable stereo up there also. I had brought up most of our laundry to one of the empty units earlier in the week as the laundry room just happened to be on the same floor and I thought that it would be more convenient for me - plus it also meant that all of the dirty laundry was completely out of our apt!

Not even thinking, when I went down the hall to do some morre laundry, I didn't bother locking the apt's door. All in all, I was probably gone no more than thirty minutes but I guess that was all of the time that this person needed to enter this empty apt, see my purse lying on the floor all by its little lonesome. Scoop...in and out in no time, I should imagine. Grrrr....

It actually wasn't until Saturday morning that I ended up noticing that it was even missing. I searched all over the place even though I knew, once I had really thought about the previous evenings sequence of events, that I had never brought my purse back down to our unit when I was finished the laundry.

I even think that I know who it was that robbed me but I don't have the time to go into the details right at the moment!!! Later on though...


Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Garage Sale

One of the fringe benefits or perks of being a Building Manager is the amount of cast off furniture and stuff in general that you ultimately get control over to keep or discard as you see fit. You would be truly amazed at the amount of stuff that gets left behind upon a move. Sometimes it is utterly mind boggling. The majority of stuff is pure crap and the only fate awaiting it is the garbage heap. It was left behind in most cases because the tenant was too darn lazy to get rid of it himself.

But every once in awhile, you happen upon a real treasure, something that you simply can't pass up. I found a dining room set this week that fits this category to a T. Made of real teak, the tenant left behind four matching chairs plus the oval table, insert and all, because he has to give up his apartment to move in with his daughter. He, unfortunately, is unable to bring the majority of his furniture with him as she already has a fully furnished home. He has maintained his possessions exquisitely also.

Recently I've happened upon some iffy stuff - some side tables and bookcases that have most definitely seen better days - but with a little bit of paint and tidying up, have managed to transform them into items you'd be happy to have in your home! I am actually getting pretty good at sprucing stuff up. Most of this stuff I have rescued for the girl's room so I've been able to let my creative juices really flow by painting them really funky colors.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Moving Towards the Centre

My Mom and I have had a somewhat stormy relationship ever since my Dad passed away in March 2003. Up until this time, he somehow had managed to keep us reigned in and under control. I suspect that my Mom and I are just too much alike to truly get along and that somehow my Dad recognized this and cleverly kept us in our separate corners so to speak. Without him around any longer to temper us, I knew that it was just a matter of time before my Mom and I ended up having a knock down, fight to the bitter end kind of argument/disagreement that would result in our separation until one of us was able to suck it up and attempt a reconciliation.

Like clockwork this is exactly what ended up happening. In June 2005, my Mom, Sara and myself took a three day shopping trip together to Toronto. We traveled from London by ViaRail and stayed in a semi luxury hotel downtown near the Eaton's Center so that we would be right in the heart of all of the shopping. Why I had originally agreed to go on this trip in the first place is still a bit of a mystery to me even today. When we had been talking about it and planning it the January prior, I guess it just seemed far enough away in the future that I was able to convince myself that the day would never come. How very wrong I was.

Even at the start of 2005, I had a pretty healthy addiction that needed to be fed fairly regularly and often. Why I thought that six months down the road, this wouldn't be an issue just goes to show you how easy addicts delude themselves. Denial, denial, denial. That probably should have been my mantra back then. To top it all off, by the time June rolled around, my addiction pretty much knew no bounds. I was certainly out of control in a very controlled way. Always attempting to maintain the appearance of the functioning addict, although by this time, that too was quickly slipping away from me.

Still managing to go to work every day although I was starting to wrack up sick days fast and furiously. Still managing to pay the bills but barely. Many were getting paid later than usual and my normally full cupboards were starting to look a little bit bare. Was also starting to look for more and more and bigger fronts from my dealers, something I never, ever did in the past. At least before, if I couldn't pay for it with cash then and there, I normally didn't bother, but even this bit of control was disappearing rapidly. I found myself in a bit of a viscous circle. If I felt sick, I wouldn't go to work but if I didn't work, I didn't get paid and if I didn't get paid, I couldn't score so something had to give and so it did. It became easier and easier to ask for a front and to take it.

Anyway, kind of long story short but by the time that our trip rolled around, I certainly was not in my best shape. I also didn't go on the trip as prepared as I should have gone mostly because my credit was no longer as good as it had been in the past with dealers. I also didn't have enough cash on hand to use on buying the amount of pills that I would need to get me through the three days we were away.

So by the second day, I was feeling awful and wasn't doing much in the way of hiding how I felt. From this point on, our trip rapidly went downhill.


Friday, February 15, 2008


There obviously is nothing worse than the sins of your misspent past managing to catch up to your present, especially if your present no way resembles your past anymore. Just when you have conveniently forgotten previously committed sins they certainly have a way of ensuring that you don't become so cavalier as to forget them entirely. Nothing like a little reminder to keep us all humble that's for bloody sure!!!

The charge from the early summer of 2005 that still seems to be dogging me is for possession of seven oxycontin 40mg pills that I had on me without a proper prescription. Shock of shocks. Imagine an opiate addict being in possession of something that they shouldn't have. This particular moment certainly managed to be one of my lowest ones that's for sure. This isn't to say that I didn't get what was coming to me because I was most definitely guilty of said charge. Up until this point though, I had managed to remain under the radar of the local police force and was convinced that none of my actions were enough to draw their attention in my direction. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

In all honesty, I really don't know why this old charge is still kicking around. I honestly thought that this had all been dealt with back in May 2006 so I truly was surprised over the events of two weeks ago. At the time of my arrest, my lawyer had determined that we had a more than excellent case to get this charge dismissed because I had been subjected to an illegal search. Obviously I now have a different lawyer looking after me and he too, is of the same opinion as the one I had nearly three years ago.

The absolute irritating thing about all of this is that essentially I am starting right back at square one. This sucks but there is nothing that I can do to change this fact so I am not going to dwell on the past stuff cause nothing good would result from it. At least now, my lawyer can also show that I have successfully been in treatment for over two years for my past addiction as well as not getting into any additional trouble since this incident. I've moved away from my past associates as well as having severed all ties with them. I am working full time plus I have got strong support network from my family and current friends. All of this will do nothing but help my case.

My next court appearance is next Friday and even with everything positive on my side, I can't help but feel sick and nervous about the whole thing. Obviously this is what the authorities want to create so that we are scared enough not to continue to repeat past mistakes. Well, it's working like a charm for me which just goes to show you how much I have actually changed over the past near three years. I was so deep in the throes of my addiction back then that this was no more than a bloody inconvenience, an irritant that would end up keeping me away from my one and only desire, to feed my ever increasing drug appetite.

I've also now been in treatment long enough and am stable enough that this incident will also not derail me from my current goal which is obviously a great thing. As easy as it would have been to run to the closest dealer on my release two weeks ago, I didn't. It wasn't even close to being my first reaction. I didn't need to numb any pain or more accurately didn't need any old excuse to relapse.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Second Worse Day of My Life Con't

OK, so back to my dilemma from the other day. Two and a half years ago when all of this originally occurred, there were a total of five charges laid against me. This was my first, and what I had hoped to be my final, interaction with the authorities. Even though there were a number of questionable aspects from that evening that I knew I could bring up in court that would have resulted in all of my charges having been withdrawn, I honestly didn't want this dragging on for months and even years, so after a having my charges adjourned a few times until I could be better prepared, I decided to make an appointment with the Crown so that I could make arrangements to plead guilty and end this whole fiasco.

My appointment to see the Crown was scheduled for the first week of May, 2006. I explained to him what exactly transpired that evening the previous July. My recollection of events was a far cry from what the arresting officer had made in his disclosure that's for bloody sure! The Crown certainly seemed to be entertaining my version of that evening's events or at least enough that he would drop three of the five charges if I pleaded guilty to the remaining two. He also would be recommending to the courts that he would also be satisfied with a monetary fine of only a few hundred dollars that I could pay over a two year period. I would also have to complete a year's worth of probation, and as I had already started Methadone Maintenance Treatment four months prior to this meeting on my own initiative, no further drug conselling would be required by me.

To me, who was surprisingly naive and incredibly green regarding these legal matters, this sounded more than acceptable. He made copious notes throughout our entire meeting and said that a copy of what we had both agreed to would be drawn up and ready for my next scheduled court appearance. My final step now was simply to get the judge to give his seal of approval which he did eight days later on what I honestly believed was my final court appearance. I had to go to my first probation appointment immediately after court that day. I reported to their office and met who would be my PO for the next year.

Now, other than having to miss one scheduled appointment when I got hit by that rogue mo-ped and broke my arm, I was obsessive compulsive the rest of the time. After that, not only did I made sure that I attended each and every session, I also ensured that I allowed myself lots of extra time so that I always arrived early. So, over the next year I attended all of my probation appointments. My actual last appointment occurred on March 30, 2007 although I was completely discharged until midnight on May 9, 2007 at midnight. All things considered, I feel that I got off fairly nicely. Now, all that I wanted to do was complete the conditions set out by the courts and put this whole embarrassing mess behind me.

Obviously, I had no idea that there were still a couple of things that needed to be resolved. As mortified as I was last Tuesday morning, in hindsight, I am kind of glad that the officers came to my home nice and early, not to mention discretely attired, to take me away. It would have been hellish under any other circumstances. What if I had been out shopping in the mall with my Mother? or with Sara and Katie at the movies? or heaven forbid, at work? Yes, now a week removed from it all, it surely could have been just horrific. Again, all things considering, I am just happy that the majority of this mess, will soon be actually over.