Friday, December 24, 2004
Yesterday I was to meet my mother at the grocery store at 12:30. At the last minute, Jim decided that he needed to go into work so he wanted me to drive him there before I met Mom. He thought that he would bring our laundry because he would have some time on our hands. Now from where Jim works to where I was to pick up my mother, the oneway drive is approx 45 mins on a good day. Yesterday was far from good. By the time he gets his proverbial s**t together, it is almost 11:30am so there would be no way that I could get him to work and then be on time for my mother. After some arguing with him, I finally got him to stay home with the laundry saying that I would be as fast as I could so that he would still have daylight left to finish the painting.
Had to pick up my daughter who was on an overnight at a friends. Grabbed her and got to the grocery store on time. Went back to my mother's who made us lunch and tea. My ex-husband had called that morning and asked me to bring my mother around with me when I dropped Sara off at his house. Now Sara's father and I have been divorced/separated almost 15 years and not once has he asked me to bring my Mom over so I figured that this was reasonably important. He sure remembered what she was like cause he said not to tell her til the last minute and kidnap her if I had to to get her there. Around the time that Sara and I were to leave, I dropped this on my Mom. She started freaking out saying that I should have told her hours ago that she could not possibly go now, blah, blah, blah. I said that Ted had never asked for a favour so could she just come with us. She kept saying no. I was pretty pissed at this so I kind of shot back that I would remember this the next time she asked me for a favour.
It eventually came out that she had committed to babysit my brother's three kids so his wife could go out on her own. My mother knows that this is a bit of a contentious issue with me because Drew has three kids under the age of six and Mom is just getting over pneumonia which had been pretty severe. Plus, they don't pick her up so she has to take two different buses to their house and then take a bus home in the dark. Problem is that the bus to her house stops running at around 6:30pm so the next closest bus to her house is about a half hour walk - in the dark no less. I guess that she was trying to avoid me finding out that this is what she was doing. Whatever. I said that I would drive her to their house if she would just come with me. Then she said that she would get there too early or something lame and the argument between my mother and I continued. I eventually got her to come with me and I know that she was glad that she did.
Ted had found an old picture of her taken in 1956 that he had framed for her. It was a lovely photo and it had been stuck between the pages of an old book for probably close to 20 years. Of course, she was still somewhat bitchy towards me. She took a shot about how lovely Ted's house was and why couldn't we get a place like this blah, blah, blah but as I said to her, if she ever bothered to come over to our place, maybe she wouldn't be so quick to take a shot. She has only been to our place twice in the fourteen months since we moved. Of course, she is at my brother's all the time. This came up because she was saying how Erica had done this and that and some more of this since they moved into the house back in September. I shot back that she sure is quick to run over to their house but never bothers to come to mine no matter how many invitations I extend. Christ, I even will go and pick her up. Whatever. Dropped her downtown after our visit so that she could go to babysit.
By the time I got home, the sun had pretty much set so Jim was in a bit of a mood but I did my best to ignore that then when I was running out the door to go to work, he decided that he needed some Diet Coke and wanted me to go grab it before I left. I did. When he was waiting for me he noticed that one of the headlights had burnt out so he was fiddling around with it trying to get it to work. The longer he messed around with it, the closer it got to my start time for work. We now have these access cards that we have to scan when we arrive and leave so the exact time we get there is recorded. No more pretending that we were here on time when we arrived five minutes late. Drat. Anyway, Jim had to drive because I was now too agitated and wouldn't have had time to park, etc and be to work on time.
On my dinner break I called Sara to see how things were going. She had been planning on doing her last minute shopping today but the $110 of babysitting money that she was to use towards presents had somehow vanished so she wanted me to drop some money off to her. I owed her $25 and I said that I would give her $50 for the cheque that her godmother had sent her for Christmas as it was dated for December 25th. I didn't have any money until Jim got his pay and I was unable to tell Sara exactly what time I could drop the money off to her. As it was, the weather was awful today so I don't know if I could have been able to get to her anyway. She got all upset with me which was pretty much the last thing that I needed at this point. I said to her that I would talk to her father and have him give her money from my next month's support and he could just deduct that amount come January 1st. Sara's selfish attitude last night pretty much sent me over the edge. I took a couple of verbal shots that I shouldn't have like she was expecting a lot considering she had spent all of her money when she was to save it for Christmas and that the presents that she got for her father and grandmother had been paid for by me so she wasn't even out of pocket for these. She then went on the "I am sorry that I am such a disappoint to you" rant that I just about jumped thru the phone at her. The conversation pretty much disintegrated from there. By the end of this call, I pretty much did not want to go back to work so I didn't. I have been fighting an awful sinus infection for near two weeks now anyway that I used this as my get out of jail card free. Called Jim and said for him to come and get me. Went home and watched a movie and then proceeded to spend today just chilling. To heck with last minute running around as that is what Christmas Eve is for anyway, right? Talked to Sara tonight and she apologized. As it was, none of her friends could even go shopping today so she didn't need the money. I am going to collect her tomorrow and she can come out shopping with me.
OK...wow...that was a lot of typing for me so I guess that I would have to say I am done for now.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Saturday, December 18, 2004
I am currently at work and it has been an extremely slow evening - I do tech support for an internet service provider. I have been surfing the net and actually just started this blog this evening as I have had very little else to do so...I just got interrupted from my near coma state by the "bat phone" ringing rather loudly. This is our after hours phone at work. My daughter was on the other line in a rather chipper mood. Before work I had dropped her at a friend's house for a sleepover - last day of school today until the new year as the Christmas break just kicked in. They had been undecided as to the evening's events as there were two good live shows at the two venues that her and her friends like to go to. Apparently they made their decision and are at the Embassy right now enjoying some loud, angry punk rock angst. Sara wanted to know if I would like to come and pick her and her friends up when I was all finished work - I am done at 2am. But of course I want to collect her because they are in the east end of town which is not the most savoury of locations but it definitely has the flavour. The last time she asked me to pick her up she had seven others with her but she promises me tonight that there are only two more. I didn't mind because they are all so young and our public transportation stops at midnight but legally I was stretching it by having eight of us in my truck - even if it is an extended cab!
Unfortunately one of the girls that she is with is one that I am not terribly fond of but I do my best not to make this too apparent to Sara as I feel that if she is aware of this that she will become even more friendly with her. I think that she is a bad influence and since Sara has started hanging out with her she has changed dramatically. They have been friends for seven years but they have just recently really renewed their friendship and while Sara is old enough and mature enough to make her own decisions, she is more of a follower than a leader and she has the capacity to be lead astray very easily so...Ok will have to conclude this entry later as I need to update a couple client files...
TO BE CONTINUED...STAY TUNED!
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Work has been speeding along nicely. I am only going to stay in the office until midnight tonight so that I can catch the last bus home. Usually I have the truck but a friend needed the truck to move some of his equipment from one garage to another and he is out of town. He won't get the vehicle back until 9am tomorrow so if I stay until 2am I will have to take a cab home and that costs about $18.00. Don't feel like paying that much to a cabbie so last bus it is. That means that Will is left alone in the office once I am gone but it is not normally too busy after midnight anyway. Last night I only took two calls from midnight until I left at 2am so I think that he should be fine without me. OK back to work for me...
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Just once, I would love to be able to walk out the door without feeling as if I am being pulled in forty different directions. Again, I am denied the luxury of simply kissing my daughter and husband good-bye, smiling and waving and walking happily out the door. I arrived at work for another evening somewhat flustered, as usual. The evening had been going fairly well all things considering. I came down with the flu over the weekend and today I was definitely feeling the worst for wear. My head feels all full of cotton wool, my throat is really scratchy and my nose is full of beautiful green stuff. Oh so nice...
I didn't really have much energy all day and was trying to conserve what little I did have for work this evening but I did need to grab a few things at the grocery store. Around five, I called to my daughter to come with me and we were pretty fast grabbing what we needed. I don't drink coffee but my husband does. I knew that he was out of instant coffee so I made sure that I didn't leave the store without it. When I got home, I asked Sara to put the groceries away and pack me a lunch while I grabbed some things that I needed for work. Of course, I got the wrong kind of coffee and my husband started lecturing me - so not in the mood for this right then - so I said that I would go and return it right now. I stomped off because this was not what I wanted to do as now I was going to be in a situation where I was dashing off to work with the remote chance that I would arrive late.
Went back to the store, returned the coffee and rushed back into the apartment. Sara had not even started my lunch so when I called her back into the kitchen to find out why she could not have made my lunch during the 20 minutes that I was gone, she kind of gave me a bit of attitude stating that she had been on the phone. Well, whatever. I don't know why she was incapable of explaining to her friend that she would have to call her back. Anyway, made my own lunch and gathered the rest of my stuff. Sara asked if she could go online on one of the computers in our bedroom and I said that she could as long as her chores and homework were all finished. I mentioned to my husband what I had just said Sara could do and all of a sudden he gets all short and snappy with me. I am like, duh??? So I asked him what he expected her to do and he goes on about her having to clean out under her bed and this and that to make room for the desktop computer we have for her. It is the fact that he has to be contrary no matter what. It wouldn't have mattered what I had given Sara permission to do while I was at work, he would have found something else that she should have been doing. This is what drives me absolutely mental. On one hand, he complains that I never keep him informed of what she is doing and yet when I do, he is never agreeable to them so I end up never "winning".
Now because he is loudly whining about what she should be doing, she is getting upset. Her first reaction is to ask me if she can go to Stephanie's which is where she always wants to go when things are not running smoothly at home. I said no and she puts a face on her which makes me even more upset and agitated and all this as I am walking out the door. I try to explain to her and ask why this always happens the moment I am about to leave. No one ever considers my state of mind or feelings. So again, I get down to my car in tears worrying about both of them. I feel bad because Sara is forced to spend the night in an uncomfortable situation and guilty that I have put her in this place. I am really mad at my husband because I feel that he is being unduly harsh on her and unreasonable at the same time.
Right now I would do anything to work any other shift than the one that I am currently working but due to the climate at work, I don't have too many options available to me. I could lose a shift a week but I don't know what this would solve anything either. I could go back to working weekends but there is so little flexibility here since all the layoffs. I don't know what to do...
Monday, December 13, 2004
I am currently watching the new movie "Closer" with Clive Owen and Julia Roberts and Jude Law and Nathalie Portman. Goodness gracious, Clive is quite the prickly bastard and I am not too fond of what Julia has been doing to him either. Jude is an absolute wanker and Nathalie is probably the most realistic of the group but a right bitch at the same time...The film is very character driven with little action. It is nice to see a film that relies on the characters to drive the story as opposed to the action of car chases or shoot em ups or whatever else qualifies as entertainment these days..Anyway must get back to the film. Need to pay attention to the dialog. P.S. Very disturbing film. Not a very pretty picture is painted of modern relationships that is for sure. Four very insecure, self-absorbed individuals that are unable to comprehend what goes on around them and are dumbfounded when their relationships falter and ultimately crash and burn. Very tragic.