Friday, January 21, 2005

IMM - Irregular Male Moodswing

I swear my boyfriend is suffering from IMM - Irregular Male Mood swing! He has been acting like a right lunatic these past couple of days. I don't have the time to detail the last day and a half but I do have time to recount are last interaction prior to me leaving for work and leaving shaking my head and muttering to myself in utter confusion that's for sure...Sara and I went out today just before 3pm so that I could go grab my paycheck and do some banking. Today was also the day that they were handing out the money for the most recent staff incentive/contest. I was part of the team that had the best attendance/absenteeism for the duration of the contest so I "won" an extra $100 (and they gave it to us is cash which means we didn't have part of it deducted on our pay which was tres cool).

Anyway, just as we were walking out the door I asked him if he would like us to bring anything back with us and he said that no he was fine. Sara and I do our thing and arrive home about two hours later. The moment that we walk in the door, he asks what food did we bring him then gets upset because we answer nothing. Blah, blah, blah. Silly me for taking nothing, I am fine to actually mean that. So as I am getting ready for work I order a pizza and wings. I am about to head back out the door with Sara who is coming with me because she is going to a friend's for the evening when he says something like, what, you're not eating? I am like, yeah, gotta go to work and he is like, well why did you order food then? I am like, what the ....Were you not complaining less than a half hour ago about the lack of food that we brought home with us? Again stupid me for assuming that you were actually hungry. No I guess you just felt like messing with me some more for the day. Refused to take the bait and walked out the door. Boy work has never looked so good as it has this week - I mean I actually worked a 12 hour shift yesterday. Come on!!

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

gorgeous poverty of created needs

Wow what a crazy day today turned out to be. I had a few errands to run this afternoon. Took me about an hour. I was home about an hour when Jim's Mom phoned to let us know that the roads were unbelievably treacherous and to stay off of them unless we absolutely had to go out. I couldn't believe it as it had been barely an hour since I had been out and there had been no hint of bad weather. We live on the eighth floor so when I looked outside once she had called I could not believe how crazy the weather was. Snow was blowing everywhere and the roads had filled with snow in no time. Cars were swerving all over the place. By the time I had to go to work, the storm had been raging for about 3 hours so the roads were pretty bad. Snowploughs had yet to appear. It took about an hour to get to work which was about 45 minutes longer than normal!

I don't know how I feel right now. I was so depressed last week that I am still feeling the residue of it this week. Don't really know the reason for my apathy but it is rendering me useless. The house still looks fine but I know that I should be vacuuming and dusting. The laundry is piling up and I still need to put all the Christmas decorations away although my daughter wants to leave the Christmas tree up - a la Garden State. I think that it should be packed back up but as I am not feeling too inclined to actually do this, it remains untouched in the living room. At least it is artificial so no imminent fire hazard. My daughter still troubles me but I am pretending that all is well with the world but I dread her first report card. I know that she has slacked off and my not constantly harassing her to do her homework and assignments will surely have a negative effect. I hate not having money. This pay to pay is truly breaking my spirit. At least we still have a beautiful roof over our head but I wish that we had more food in the cupboards and fridge and wish that I had some rainy day money but right now I am finding it hard to find an extra dollar to even buy a coffee on my break. I know that I should do my tax return from last year, and the two years prior to last, as I would have a huge amount of money just from the Child Tax Credit and GST but again my apathy prevents me from completing something that would so obviously help not only me but my whole family.

Oh whatever is wrong with me...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Been Away but Now Back

Haven't been around for a while but I am back!!!! With the Christmas season, I just didn't have enough time to do everything that I wanted to do so something had to get overlooked. I have also been quite distracted by my sewing of late. If anyone knows me they will know that I came to sewing quite late in my life - less than four years ago - but I have embraced it with an obsession like nothing else. I love to sew. I can never get too much and the beauty about this is that I am actually quite good at it which to anyone that knows me at all is a major shock. My entire life I have shown absolutley no artistic talent except for writing so when I expressed an interest in learning to sew everyone thought that this was it, I had finally lost it!

Shock of shocks that I am actually very talented when it comes to sewing. I am now designing my own clothes and can turn nothing into something in no time. I love fabric stores. I can spend an entire day in one and never lose interest. I love the feel of fabric and the look of the colours. I have a passion for taffeta in particular. I can't get enough of it. It is the most stunning material that I know. The colours, the texture, the weight, the drape...I could go on. I have taffeta everywhere in my house - my duvet cover, my bedroom curtains, all of my pillows except for one in my living room, boxes, notebooks, lampshaades, throw rugs, table clothes...if something can be covered you better believe that it is covered in taffeta. Drives my boyfriend nuts although he is getting used to our duvet cover's slipperiness because it actually is nice and warm.

A little while ago, I designed a couple of patterns for a modified knapsack that I started using as gift bags whenever I gave a present. As you can imagine, I have a lot of sewing to do over the Christmas holidays to get what I call my Serena Sacks made. Normally I make them from scraps of leftover material but this year I lucked out so I actually bought new material to make my sacks. Christmas Eve I stopped in - what was supposed to be quickly - to Fabricland to pick up some needles and thread and as I was browsing I noticed that they had their taffeta on sale for a ridiculously low price! This is fabric that rarely goes on sale and is on average about $20/m so when I saw all this lovely fabric on for $4.49/m to $8/m (double width even) I almost had a cardiac arrest. I didn't know where to look or what to grab or what to do. All other thoughts completely left my head. Poof, gone as I was lost in a maze of shimmering, billowing fabric. I bought a ton with no real goal in mind other than my Serena Sacks and I didn't need anywhere near the amount that I bought for what I actually needed to make but whatever....

So pretty much since Christmas I have been sewing and now my back is sore, my eyes kind of tired and my boyfriend tired of having to pick threads out of everything - I swear I have no idea how they got in the dishwasher!!! So I am back. I am taffeta-ed out untiil the next time. Hope that everyone is having a wonderful New Year so far...

Friday, January 07, 2005

Been Caught Singing The Post Christmas Let Down Blues...

Well the good news is that I am at work right now - four days in a row and counting. The bad news is that the apathy that I seem to be suffering from since New Years does not seem to be abating. Tonight has gone by reasonably quickly. For the fourth night in a row I was rushing out the door in an attempt to be on time to work. I don't know why I have had such a tough time this week. I mean I don't even start work until 7pm at night.

OK I actually started writing this entry about four hours ago and because it has been so slow tonight, rather than update, I have been aimlessly surfing the net. I would actually really like to go home early today but there doesn't look as if that will happen. Oh well...OK now it is almost 1:30am so I really only have about a half an hour to go so...Just feeling so tired I guess. Want to go home to sleep and sleep lots and lots...I have been so lazy this week that I haven't even gone to the bank to get the money together to pay the rent. Jim is going to freak on me but now I might as well wait until my paycheque is ready at 3pm tomorrow to do all the banking. It is not as if he rushed out to pick up his pay today and it was ready. He must be grabbing it tomorrow so I shall just wait and make ony one trip to the bank...