Friday, March 21, 2008

Where's the Easter Bunny When You Need Him?

So this coming Saturday will be one of those dreaded holiday family get togethers at my Mom's. Well at least this is the first get together since Christmas so...I'm as game as I'll ever be I suppose.

I mostly hate these get togethers as they inevitably seem to bring out some of my less desirable traits. Suddenly this moronic and sophomoric competition like behaviour materializes within me and the day starts to turn into me ensuring that I literally get the last word and laugh, so to speak. Now that I've been welcomed back into the family fold, there is no way that my sister-in-law will ever again come out on top!

I must arrive looking absolutely fabulous as merely presentable will simply not do - once an addict, always in the ready position to disprove any remote suspicion or suggestion of a possible relapse and looking only so-so is worse than waving a bright red flag at BULL FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

Yet, at the same time, I can never appear to be trying too hard as this is just as bad an infraction. I must ensure that whatever I do decide to wear must fit me like a second skin and I mean this literally. I must ensure that I own the outfit. It would be a disaster if it looked as if I were merely playing dress up and wearing some sort of "costume" for the day.

After all of this, I also have to ensure that I look a zillion times better than Erica. She must appear positively frumpy beside me - this actually won't be as hard as it used to be now that she's had three children in quick succession. She doesn't seem to have the same amount of energy to dedicate towards her previously obnoxious vanity and narcissism.

As I mentioned at the beginning, this honestly is the only time that I allow my ego and vanity to take over. I'm not normally this self absorbed, it's just that I am still feeling way sensitive and ultra exposed at these family events, not to mention a tad bit paranoid, perhaps. Although, I know that I don't look like some down and out junky, who's to say that this reality isn't lurking around the next corner.

...there by the grace of...go I...

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