I Miss You, Heroin! (Epilogue)

I read the first article just over two years ago and at the time it literally blew me away. I could have written it. I know that I lived it. I searched for a long time hoping to find out what happened and voila, finally the aftermath. Enjoy!!!

I tried it one last time after I wrote “I Miss You, Heroin” in November 2004. A month after the article was published on www.blacktable.com, I took my last shot. Sometimes in life you find yourself doing things you no longer need or want to do. This is epitomized in the awkward conversations you get sucked into when you’re spotted by a high school chum you no longer know. My realization, inevitably came to late. It appeared as the drug swam over me and numbness smothered my body. And that was that. When I came back to Sobriety, I knew it was the end. It wasn’t just the last shot, it was the last thought too. Hundreds of people asked me for my help after they read my story. They asked me how to quit, how to help loved ones, how to be strong. The thing is, strength comes from within. You know that, every one of you. It takes courage to even consider quitting whatever it is that you find yourself addicted to whether it be heroin, meth, alcohol, or TV. And I think that everyone has their weaknesses. But imagine how it feels to know that you are not part of the norm. Imagine how intoxicating it feels to be free from the clutches of addiction. I find myself addicted to something that doesn’t cause money or health problems. I find myself addicted to life.

Holy shit, that sounds ridiculous. Life. What a load of crap. To tell you the truth I’m still unhappy and annoyed and frustrated. I’m still pissed off that Dubya “won” another election. I still yell at my computer, and I still look in the mirror some days and wonder how I got here. But I don’t run home in the middle of work so I can puke my guts out and blame it on an eating disorder. And I feel better. I have enough money to spend a month traveling around, and every cent would have been heroin money if I would have just given up like so many people do. I get positively drunk on the knowledge that I am not a statistic. It tickles me pink that I beat the unbeatable.

I know, for a fact, that anyone who wants to quit these things can. They’re all just too chicken shit to do it. They’re afraid of change, of the unknown. Drugs are easy, nothing matters if you’re high. And I know how easy it is to stay there. Take it from me though, it tastes better when your brain can actually register the taste.

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