FROM THE JUNKYLIFE ARCHIVES | 2006-01-31
Well I am halfway through my day at work and I have to admit for the first time in a really long time I actually feel OK. Yesterday was my first dose of methadone and as luck would have it, I also ended up being moved to permanent days on the exact same day. Suddenly with little to no warning I will be working permanent full time days for the first time since March 1996. Combined with starting to go to the klinic on a regular basis, I am pleasantly surprised that I am not as stressed as I thought that I should be today!
I finally got my 20mg dose of methadone yesterday around 5pm. It had been a rather long, painful day waiting for it but within an hour of taking it, I definitely felt its effects. I had increased energy and the aches and pains in my legs slowly subsided. I also got some rather good news during my intake interview. My doctor said that there must be an angel sitting on my shoulder because my body does not appear to show any of the normal signs of such an abusive lifestyle. All of my bloodwork as well as my EKG came back with excellent results. Who''da thunk that I was actually healthy? So much for being a hypochondriac! Obviously I am thrilled to bits with this news cause it will just end up making me more determined to follow the MMT program to the letter. If I have managed to get to near 42 without any real serious health issues, I would like to kind of keep it this way.
I did a pill around 10pm last night and one around 2am but for the most part, I didn''t experience the normal aggitation that I should have been knowing that I didn''t really have a supply. I also knew that I would be waking up unusually early for me. Not only was I getting up early but I was going to have to be instantly mobile to go to work. Normally this would flood me with fear but as the klinic opens at 7am on Tuesdays, I decided that the best thing to do would be to dose just prior to work. It has now been four and a half hours and I am happy to report that I am feeling relaxed and not experiencing any normal sickness. If I can maintain this until 4pm, I will be thrilled. Yes, I plan on copping at that time but I think I am still making fantastic progress all things considered.
Once I have reached a stabilized dose I plan on taking my methadone at the same time every day. I am just slightly freaked out right now because of my whole move to having to be in the office during normal business hours something that I have managed to avoid for nearly a decade! All in all though I am feeling positive for the first time in a really long time! Yeah for me!