Friday, September 05, 2008

The Policy of Truth PART THREE

You know there is one thing that constantly amazes me about people. Why ask a question if you're not going to be happy with the answer? This was kind of the end, if there was really even any beginning, of mine and Jim's relationship with my brother and his new girlfriend. Of course, right after that first night, they had to see each other and immediately set off on a clandestine affair. Initially they attempted to use both Jim and I as their scapegoats as far as their lies, etc went with his current girlfriend, but we put a swift end to being involved with any of their duplicity. It was hard enough encountering  his current livein on a daily basis as it was. She obviously knew that something was up.

So, one day less than a month into all of this mess, my bro approaches me asking for advice. He said that him and SIL were fated, that it was truly love at first sight, blah, blah, blah... I told him that if this was indeed the case then they should wait until he had a chance to explain everything to his current livein and at the very least, allow her to exit the situation with her dignity and self-respect intact. SIL approached Jim with the same question and concerns, and he essentialy answered almost exactly what I had. Now of course neither one of them decided to follow any of our advise and, in fact, ended up resenting us emmensely in the future for not being there with our support when they wanted and needed it.

Goodness gracious. Whatever. What ended up resulting was one disasterously messy breakup for my bro and his current. For almost a solid month, Jim, Sara and I were subjected to all kinds of drama directly above our heads as various pairs continually did some sort of battle. Finally one day, all returned to relative quiet. Out with the old and in with the new.

Now SIL had quite a few issues that were not first apparent but quickly revealed themselves. For starters, she had my bro paint each and every room new colours because she wanted to erase any memories of his past living situation. Any furniture that he bought with the other one, had to be removed and replaced. Actually, not just inanimate objects, but essentially, she wanted his entire past eradicated so any friends that he had associated with regularly while with her had to go as wel. Unfortunately, Jim and I ended up falling into this catergory also so it wasn't very long until we were both chucked off to the side. 

I mean, it was slow and insideous initially but the end result was the same. It's now been over a decade and this aspect of our relationships have never been repaired. Now, obviously I'd been his sister for three and a half decades and it was hard for me, but for Jim it was particularly crushing. At this point the two of them had been best friends for twenty years. Rarely had you ever not seen one of them without the other. All of their previous girlfriends knew and respected this and learned to adapt. This was the first time ever that something had pulled them apart. To this day, Jim still has a difficult time accepting what happened and what has allowed to continue.

No comments: