BUSTED

Well, my few days away with my Mother turned into something that I did not want it to turn into so...she confronted me about my addiction and for the first time, I admitted. What a load off of my chest I have to admit. I have wanted to tell her for like ever. Surprisingly enough it went really well. Shock of shocks. She will even help get me into a program or just help me get back into methadone. Whatever I want. She is terribly upset but at the same time she was so understanding. I even told her the only joke that I know.

How can you tell if a junky is lying? His lips are moving...

More later...am tired now...

Woot!!!Woot!!!

I just got the best news ever although my Manager is still recovering from my reaction to the change. The project that I am currently on is ending effective now. From now on I will be on another dedicated project Monday to Friday 2pm to 8pm. I agreed to work two nights a week until 10pm so that I could be cross trained on a few other projects as they expect the project that I am on will also be ending fairly shortly. No problemo. I have been here two years and the whole time I have been begging for part time hours to no avail. I will believe it when I see it but effective tomorrow I am working 2-8pm for the rest of the week now I had booked next week off of work ages ago cause Mom and I are going on a three day shopping trip to Toronto so we'll see what's the what when I get back.

About the trip. My Mom wasn't all that well thru the fall and winter and a lot of the spring and I did my best to help her - she doesn't know how to drive and my father passed away a couple of years ago so...I took her to the hospital and sat with her a number of times, took her to all of her doctor's appointments, groceries, etc and this trip is her way of saying thank you. We are leaving Tuesday morning at 8am by Via Rail arriving at 10:05am - it is only London to Toronto - and coming back at 7pm on Thursday evening. Mom has booked us into the Holiday Inn on King Street and it looks real fancy and stuff. Well here, take a look yourself. Isn't it pretty?

Pathetic Cowards

Wow, what a day at work! There were fifty four people laid off today not in the department that I work in but still within the same company. It was pretty emotional to say the least. No one seems to know - or prepared to answer - whether or not the contract was finished or whether Microsoft pulled the plug on it. Tres weird. What was weirder - and pretty ignorant I think - was the fact that head of Human Resources had the day off of work. Duh? Don't you think if you were doing a layoff of this magnitude that HR should be present? Also, the manager of the call center was also absent so it was left to one of the team leads to do all of the dirty work. Nicole is a super nice girl but she can't be anymore than 24 and has only been a team lead for about three weeks so she took this all pretty hard. What a bunch of cowards!!!

Arrested

Well, I had an awful day yesterday that's for sure. I was coming back from a friend's house to get ready from work. It was just before lunch and I was traveling down one of our busier streets which had a bunch of pylons set up closing down one of the west bound lanes. As the traffic was merging I thought that I had enough room to get over to the far lane but of course, there had to be some ignorant driver who was not prepared to give up his place in the line. I ended up hitting him although at first I thought that I had hit one of the pylons. If he hadn't had tried to cut me off this would never have happened. I don't know why he had to accelerate as quickly as he did at that exact moment but things ended up getting really messy from that point onward. I kept driving and it wasn't until I was two lights away that I realized that he was chasing me. He kind of signaled so I pulled over into a bank's parking lot. He was really ignorant but I tried to ignore his attitude. He tried to block my truck from leaving by parking his vehicle perpendicular to mine. I even tried to give him my keys just in case he thought that I was going to go anywhere. Like where would I go?


Anyway the cops showed up and even though it was his fault, I ended up getting charged because I was driving with a suspended license and arrested on the spot altough I was released right then and there. I have to go to court on July 25th at 9am. The officer that arrested me will also be there so that should be fun. boy, can I not wait for that. I ended up not going into work at all either cause by the time that I was done with the cops it was almost 3pm so it made no sense to go into work. Wish that I didn't have to be at work today cause I feel really awful. I can barely keep my eves open. This is killing me right about now too.

I Feel Inspired!!!

Well, cause I was quite surprised at how well my painted headboard turned out, I had enough confidence to try something else in our bedroom. Seeing how I still had more than half of the paint left over and more than enough beige walls in which to fill, I thought that I would paint another grouping of squares on a different piece of wall. This time I painted even coloums with the squares reaching from the floor up to the ceiling. I only did three coloumns, each with 7 squares, cause I wasn't sure exactly how much paint I actually had left over - believe it or not, I still have some paint left!!! This project also turned out quite well. I am very pleased and now I know that I will be brave enough to try something in our living room/dining room soon. Not doing anything in those two rooms quite yet as we need new furniture and I am just waiting for my income tax refund. Once I decide on what furniture to buy then I will think about painting and stuff. I hate waiting for this money cause right now everything is on hold in those rooms but I can't really do anything until I get this money back. I have temporary curtains up and a slipcover over the couch. We have our large solid wook coffee table and one of those ottoman cubes but that is pretty much it. We have a black laquer floormodel 27" tv which is surrounded by two floor to ceiling book cases/shelving units done in black metal piping. Those are the only things staying once I get my refund. We are chucking absolutely everything else from the living room. As we left our dining room stuff behind when we moved, there is not too much to get rid of in that room although it is not completely bare. Anyway, my painting went on a lot longer than I anticipated so it is quite late and I am off to bed.

Ah Bliss

Oh yeah...my dealer just dropped off a 80mg oxy to me. Oh total bliss. I crushed up part of it and as fast as I could, got it into me. Didn't want to draw much attention to myself by being away from my desk for too long so I didn't prep it quite as well as I usually do and at first I had a hard time getting it into my vein. Had to abort the first attempt and try the other arm so I know that I didn't get as good a hit as I could have gotten. Man, I hate being rushed but what else was I to do? I normally like to have my day's supply already prepped so that a trip to the bathroom does not turn into an unusually long visit but this week the combination of lack of funds and lack of drugs has really put a damper in my normal modus operandis. Everything just sucks big right now. I hope my dealer has another pill on her cause I sure would like to take one home to my boyfriend. Wish there was a way that I could get some more speed but fat chance of that happening. Think that I would just be pushing my luck at that point so guess that I will be grateful for the little that I did manage to get my hands on!!!! Only 17 minutes to go before work ends. Yeah. Oh, I am also going to go down to the Methadone Clinic on Thursday while on my dinner break and start the process to get myself back on the program. Guess the wait is a lot less than it was when I first started six and a half years ago. Can't believe that I was five years clean when I started back down this stupid stupid path...