Nicotine and Alcohol

OK, so my husband is in a right awful mood. We are out of smokes and he is having the nicotine fit of his life. He is being abrupt and mean to both Sara and I. I guess that this would not be the best time to tell him that the pot that I found in the couch was Sara's. She admitted it to me once we were home. I picked her up from her friend's house around 7:30pm - the friend that I am not too keen on. Oh well. I ended up giving it back to her because I didn't really know what else to do. When I first asked her about it, she asked me if I wanted to keep it and I said no, absolutely not. I don't smoke pot anyway. I gave it back but I said that she better not make me regret this decision.

Jim is still really mad at my friend that had borrowed our truck today. She didn't get it back until almost 4pm which meant that there was no point in going out to work today at all but that also meant that we have no money until tomorrow or later, who knows. If he had been able to go out today, he could have grabbed the money from our washing machines that we have at the apartment but now it is too late. And this has probably wrecked his chances of getting his pay cheque early this week also. Oh I don't know. I am thinking that I am going to go over to her house now so that I can get smokes from her because I don't feel like waiting until some time tomorrow either.

Sara and I watched Closer and Garden State tonight both of which are really great movies. Nathalie Portman is in both of them and she is wonderful. She is maturing into an amazing young lady. Very graceful. I watched Flight of the Phoenix with Dennis Quaid this afternoon and I have to admit that I quite enjoyed it. Was a little long but as I didn't expect an awful lot from it, I was quite pleasantly surprised by it.

Still feeling the pain...

Still not feeling 100%. I stayed up last night until about 6am and have been sleeping on and off since then but I have to pick up Sara shortly so I thought that I had better get up and start moving around. My sinuses have gotten t he better of me today so far - feels like they are on fire and there is an awful taste in my mouth that I can not get rid of no matter how many times I brush my teeth. Jim is kind of in a crap mood. A friend of ours borrowed our truck last night to help another friend do some moving and she was supposed to have the vehicle back by 10am so that he could go to work. Well, I am just walking in the door from dropping her off at her house! Only six hours late. Shouldn't make a fuss about something as insignificant as this. Whatever. So now Jim is essentially seven hours late for work and Tracey didn't even seem the least bit remorseful which has only made Jim angrier.

Still have to pick up my daughter from her friend's house before Jim goes to work also. This should be interesting. Jim found an empty pack of cigarettes in the front pocket of her knapsack and I found a small baggy with pot in it in the couch last night...I know the smokes were not ours as neither one of us has ever smoked the brand that she had. Now I know the pot is definitely not mine and I am fairly sure that it is not Jim's either so that doesn't really leave too many others. She had a friend over on Tuesday of last week that was sitting in the exact place that I found it so it is either hers or John's. Sara has been known to bend the truth a little bit in the past so it should be interesting to hear what I am sure will be a creative explanation

Ah my beautiful 14 going on 30 year old needs...

I am currently at work and it has been an extremely slow evening - I do tech support for an internet service provider. I have been surfing the net and actually just started this blog this evening as I have had very little else to do so...I just got interrupted from my near coma state by the "bat phone" ringing rather loudly. This is our after hours phone at work. My daughter was on the other line in a rather chipper mood. Before work I had dropped her at a friend's house for a sleepover - last day of school today until the new year as the Christmas break just kicked in. They had been undecided as to the evening's events as there were two good live shows at the two venues that her and her friends like to go to. Apparently they made their decision and are at the Embassy right now enjoying some loud, angry punk rock angst. Sara wanted to know if I would like to come and pick her and her friends up when I was all finished work - I am done at 2am. But of course I want to collect her because they are in the east end of town which is not the most savoury of locations but it definitely has the flavour. The last time she asked me to pick her up she had seven others with her but she promises me tonight that there are only two more. I didn't mind because they are all so young and our public transportation stops at midnight but legally I was stretching it by having eight of us in my truck - even if it is an extended cab!

Unfortunately one of the girls that she is with is one that I am not terribly fond of but I do my best not to make this too apparent to Sara as I feel that if she is aware of this that she will become even more friendly with her. I think that she is a bad influence and since Sara has started hanging out with her she has changed dramatically. They have been friends for seven years but they have just recently really renewed their friendship and while Sara is old enough and mature enough to make her own decisions, she is more of a follower than a leader and she has the capacity to be lead astray very easily so...Ok will have to conclude this entry later as I need to update a couple client files...

TO BE CONTINUED...STAY TUNED!

Hump Day

Made it to work again today stress free...hope that this is a new trend because this is definitely something that I could get used to! I had some errands to run after Jim got home from work so I ran out quickly to do them. When I got back, Sara was home from school already and she had a friend, John, with her. Jim seemed to be in a good mood also. John is very polite which Jim likes to find in teenagers and so many of Sara's friends rarely take the time to acknowledge us that John is a refreshing change. If they are unable to even say "hi" to us, Jim gets in a foul mood and makes their visit pretty unbearable. I don't blame him either. It doesn't take much effort to say hello.

Work has been speeding along nicely. I am only going to stay in the office until midnight tonight so that I can catch the last bus home. Usually I have the truck but a friend needed the truck to move some of his equipment from one garage to another and he is out of town. He won't get the vehicle back until 9am tomorrow so if I stay until 2am I will have to take a cab home and that costs about $18.00. Don't feel like paying that much to a cabbie so last bus it is. That means that Will is left alone in the office once I am gone but it is not normally too busy after midnight anyway. Last night I only took two calls from midnight until I left at 2am so I think that he should be fine without me. OK back to work for me...

Stressed Again

Just once, I would love to be able to walk out the door without feeling as if I am being pulled in forty different directions. Again, I am denied the luxury of simply kissing my daughter and husband good-bye, smiling and waving and walking happily out the door. I arrived at work for another evening somewhat flustered, as usual. The evening had been going fairly well all things considering. I came down with the flu over the weekend and today I was definitely feeling the worst for wear. My head feels all full of cotton wool, my throat is really scratchy and my nose is full of beautiful green stuff. Oh so nice...

I didn't really have much energy all day and was trying to conserve what little I did have for work this evening but I did need to grab a few things at the grocery store. Around five, I called to my daughter to come with me and we were pretty fast grabbing what we needed. I don't drink coffee but my husband does. I knew that he was out of instant coffee so I made sure that I didn't leave the store without it. When I got home, I asked Sara to put the groceries away and pack me a lunch while I grabbed some things that I needed for work. Of course, I got the wrong kind of coffee and my husband started lecturing me - so not in the mood for this right then - so I said that I would go and return it right now. I stomped off because this was not what I wanted to do as now I was going to be in a situation where I was dashing off to work with the remote chance that I would arrive late.

Went back to the store, returned the coffee and rushed back into the apartment. Sara had not even started my lunch so when I called her back into the kitchen to find out why she could not have made my lunch during the 20 minutes that I was gone, she kind of gave me a bit of attitude stating that she had been on the phone. Well, whatever. I don't know why she was incapable of explaining to her friend that she would have to call her back. Anyway, made my own lunch and gathered the rest of my stuff. Sara asked if she could go online on one of the computers in our bedroom and I said that she could as long as her chores and homework were all finished. I mentioned to my husband what I had just said Sara could do and all of a sudden he gets all short and snappy with me. I am like, duh??? So I asked him what he expected her to do and he goes on about her having to clean out under her bed and this and that to make room for the desktop computer we have for her. It is the fact that he has to be contrary no matter what. It wouldn't have mattered what I had given Sara permission to do while I was at work, he would have found something else that she should have been doing. This is what drives me absolutely mental. On one hand, he complains that I never keep him informed of what she is doing and yet when I do, he is never agreeable to them so I end up never "winning".

Now because he is loudly whining about what she should be doing, she is getting upset. Her first reaction is to ask me if she can go to Stephanie's which is where she always wants to go when things are not running smoothly at home. I said no and she puts a face on her which makes me even more upset and agitated and all this as I am walking out the door. I try to explain to her and ask why this always happens the moment I am about to leave. No one ever considers my state of mind or feelings. So again, I get down to my car in tears worrying about both of them. I feel bad because Sara is forced to spend the night in an uncomfortable situation and guilty that I have put her in this place. I am really mad at my husband because I feel that he is being unduly harsh on her and unreasonable at the same time.

Right now I would do anything to work any other shift than the one that I am currently working but due to the climate at work, I don't have too many options available to me. I could lose a shift a week but I don't know what this would solve anything either. I could go back to working weekends but there is so little flexibility here since all the layoffs. I don't know what to do...

CLOSER

I am currently watching the new movie "Closer" with Clive Owen and Julia Roberts and Jude Law and Nathalie Portman. Goodness gracious, Clive is quite the prickly bastard and I am not too fond of what Julia has been doing to him either. Jude is an absolute wanker and Nathalie is probably the most realistic of the group but a right bitch at the same time...The film is very character driven with little action. It is nice to see a film that relies on the characters to drive the story as opposed to the action of car chases or shoot em ups or whatever else qualifies as entertainment these days..Anyway must get back to the film. Need to pay attention to the dialog. P.S. Very disturbing film. Not a very pretty picture is painted of modern relationships that is for sure. Four very insecure, self-absorbed individuals that are unable to comprehend what goes on around them and are dumbfounded when their relationships falter and ultimately crash and burn. Very tragic.